It is a widely undocumented complete and total fact (opinion) that Bruce Campbell is the world's premiere B-movie actor/director. For nearly 30 years, this man's complete lack of shame and misplaced dignity have made us laugh, cry, and - well... made us laugh mostly.
But what few people realize that that what Bruce lacks in acting ability, he makes up for in profound thought. Indeed, it's entirely possible that Bruce Campbell could be one of the world's leading philosphers if those A-listers (Nietzsche, Socrates, etc...) weren't so busy hogging the limelight.
To prove my potentially preposterous point, here are a number of life lessons only Bruce Campbell could provide. Oh, and it should be noted that all these lessons are based on quotes Bruce made off-screen at events, in interviews, etc... this is about what Bruce can teach us, not what his characters teach.
Lesson 1: The Secret of Being Awesome
"Well now it's because of longevity. I refuse to go away. I think that's probably it. I'm the guy at the party who, you look around and you go, 'God, that guy's still here?'"
Bruce knows that he who puts himself forward most often has the most opportunity to prove his own greatness.
Put yourself out there as much as you can. Don't miss the chance to show your worth.
Lesson 2: Nobody's Perfect
“I can't think of any organization where there isn't room for improvement.”
An oldie, but a goodie. I don't think this bears any further comment.
Lesson 3: We Need to Step Back and Re-Evaluate Our Values
"My character in Army of Darkness, the last of the three, is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people and yet he's your hero."
Ash is slick, cocky, witty, tough, and just an all-around "man's man." We like him. He's loveable in his arrogance and he 'saves' the day...
But that's just the surface. Step back from the adventure for a moment. Ash triggered the arrival of the Deadites to begin with, just by exhibiting a bit of verbal incompetence. This leads to the movie's 'big battle' sequences, which hides the horrors of war (the deaths of women and children, for example) with entertaining commentary, explosions, and wacky puppetry.
Was Ash truly a hero? Bruce doesn't think so, and he's the one playing the so-called 'hero'...
On a literal level, we're looking at a fictional character in a movie. But dare to step back a moment. Is the movie all we're talking about? Maybe there's something much bigger we should be considering here...
Lesson 4: Morality Be Damned... Good and Bad are Just Words
"Good... Bad... I'm the guy with gun."
Okay, I lied. One of the quotes is from a movie. Irrelevant, though, since Bruce still makes a good point.
We walk our high roads. We condemn other people based on race, creed, religion, sexual preference, etc... but morality is just a shield. Good and Bad are just words. What matters, what really matters, is what we do when given the tools or the power to act.
Don't forget that.
Lesson 5: In the End, All That Matters is How We See Ourselves
"All men think they're fascinating. In my case, it's justified."
Egomaniac, or brilliant thinker?
Probably both.
We run through our lives looking at others and wishing we could be like them. Know more about them. Swooning over the works of William Shakespeare... marvelling at the labors of Leonardo Da Vinci... comdemning the evils of Adolf Hitler.
But what about ourselves? Aren't we just as fascinating?
Why not?
After all, regardless of how much we honor someone else, it's going to come down to one eventually. Just one. And I don't know about you, but when that moment comes and my life is slipping away, I want to be able to look up at whoever is with me and say, "Yeah... that'll do."
Lesson 6: Eat healthy
"I try to eat whole grains when I can."
The values of whole grain foods really can't be understanded. A diet rich in whole grains can reduce the risk of heart disease, lower blood pressure, help prevents cardiovascular disease, and control weight.
Stop reading. Right now. Go eat some oatmeal or something. Lesson 7 will be here when you come back.
Lesson 7: Always Be Prepared
"When life give you lemons, throw them at the zombies."
The Boy Scouts may like preparedness, but Bruce Campbell brings the point home.
The Zombie Apocalyspe is coming... and when it does, we need to be ready.
I'm not saying you should consider lemons as a viable zombie defense. Nor am I saying that we should ignore life's issues just to be ready for the zombies.
Just... maybe you should consider burying grandpa face down when the time comes. Trust me, that kindly old bastard doesn't really want to eat you any more than you want to be eaten.
Think about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment